When reality sinks in…finally
I am never happy and it is not my fault. It is so hard to be happy in my life. Recently, reality just sinks in with me that it is not easy. 5 mths more. And, he is not going to be in Singapore as his family is in overseas afterall, and uni overseas too. Suddenly, I knew it. Family is still the ultimate most impt thing. I cant blame him. I don’t. But I can expect, when he had gone, the lesser time he would be in Singapore, maybe never. What pains me more, the fact that the lesser time he would spend with me, or the fact that he may never be back in Singapore? I don’t know. I don’t wish to know. No, I am supposed to be happy for him, afterall, it was his dream, wasnt it? Yes, it was his dream. Then, why am I upset? I have no idea. Is there a change of decision from me because it is going to be getting even tougher? I just feel like crying. Yes, cry to let loose all the agony in me. All. My reality, my hopes and dreams. Suddenly, they all seem to be collapsing. Hope. Hope for everything to be successful. Hope. Hope. Hope. Hope. Hope.
