The perfect life I am looking for
All my life I have tried my best to look for a perfect life, but it took me so long to realise that there is no perfect life.
The perfect life I am looking for is simple. Just to have results proportional with the hard work put in. Just to have someone who really cares about me and understand me. These 2 together with a happy family.
Is it so difficult?
I think it is difficult. When I am weak in an aspect in life, I tried to pull myself up, either it goes to waste or some other aspect of my life goes down. I need to be happy. I am trying but I am not. Someone is making me unhappy maybe I am making the someone unhappy. I really don’t know. It bothers me. Because suddenly, I am once again away from the someone’s life. Is that a retribution or what? I can speak to no one because I made this choice. Yet, I am crying silently. I am an actress. I put up a happy mask. Does it works? Is it worth doing these? I don’t know. I don’t know how to tell the someone. I am trying to understand, but it pains me. Once again, I am in the pool of silent debate. It is always without conclusion. Either because I cant bear to make the choice or I am too afraid to.
I drown myself in work and music, yet in my dreams, I am always searching for the right answer to the answer. I cant find it yet. Is it worth doing all these?
I am still looking for the perfect life that I am after.
