Guten Tag! :)

Today I feel very tired and very upset.Got into another quarrel with her again. I feel so drained that I feel like dying. I feel angry with God for making things so difficult for me. Why cant I be like the other teenagers? Happy in dating etc.

I am not happy. I am overwhelmed by troubles that I don’t know what to do. Like someone standing, helpless.

I think my life is too challenging that sometimes, I feel like giving up and ending my world. Cause’ I never get what I want in the end, and instead, more troubles come up everywhere. I wish that some aspect of my life is smooth with just some small troubles, but I never get those. Since young, I am just a girl whose life is chosen by others, who is afraid of life, never happy, lonely with few good friends. And, I think I am still like that now.

Like now, when I am upset, who can I talk to? No one. I hate the feeling so much.

Isnt she being so ridiculous? Limit me to 2 days a week for going out? What the shit… and she says cause’ I am still studying and that’s why I can onli go out with him for 2 days. It is not like I am in school. Now is vacation. If in school then I will understand what she means. But now I don’t.

I want to be free. To make my own decisions, to do things that I like. WHEN CAN I DO TAT?!

Yes, as the title implies, NUS= National University of Selfishness. I don’t know what is those people problem.But, I have inspected alot of selfish people from NUS.

The SEP is the one that makes me so angry the most. I saw the email regarding about the SEP to Edinburgh. So I filled in the forms, mapped the damn modules and travelled all the way to stupid NUS. When I reached S16, I stood there for a long time, outside the office, then i pressed the stupid bell, it took them damn long time to come over. In fact, this Indian girl who came over has a unhappy face, she shot her question at me " what u want?!". Me" I want to hand in SEP form". Then she grabbed the forms from me.
She:"You must let the SEP coordinator sign the forms". Then she handed me the forms back.

So I have no choice, I went out and called the stupid SEP coordinator, the stupid Dr Ong Bee Lian, I called her no. so many times hoping that she would pick up, but she never. Then I went home very sadly and emailed her. Till NOW, since 9 July, she(or he?) didnt reply me at all!

It just saddens me cause’ I want to go for SEP but NUS doesnt give me the damn chance to go. This is the worst university in the world. My sister university is better than this National University of Selfishness. I question the university rankings, I think NTU is much better, as Wei Na has said, they are really efficient.

And the minister say that only very little Singaporeans can go into the National University of Selfishness, because they need foreigners to increase our competition. Pui…it is to INCREASE THE INCOME OF THE STUPID UNIVERSITY.

I dislike National University of Selfishness and Dr Ong Bee Lian.

my memory is so bad nowdays.And I do weird things these days. That are bizzare.

That day I am supposed to show my damn company pass to the security guard. Instead, I show my pass the the public! And I did not think that something is wrong until I walked a few steps , then I realised what I have done. I couldnt help but giggle so I ran to the office!

Secondly, I finally met the "boss" (boss?") called Vittoria. I tot he was a "she". haha! Then he come in and tok to me while I was doing filing.

V: How are you?
Me: Eh…duh..fine? ( note: I say fine cause what the hell..I am fine cant u see!)
V: ………(pause for some time while he was still holding my hand)
Me: ehh..( fake smile)
V: Welcome to EGL.
Me: Thanks!

God..what a stupid thing I have done. It is like that time when I went to CJ’s dinner and dance night. I was talking to his friend’s gf.(G)

G: What are you doing now?
me: What you mean? ehh..I am standing here toking to u?
G: Oh..I mean..studying or working?
Me: ohhh….

damn…it is 2 sides man…

oH NO! How does my company people noes that I am called Christina?

So obvious loh..hahha…Friendster blog or friendster loh!

Weng Chong, if u are reading my blog, I noe the answer…hahahha! Congrats me lehx..:P

Suddenly, I just changed so much in my preferences. My hated become my favourites. So weird.

I saw my dearest spikes shoes in the storeroom. I am so tempted to wear it to do 100m, 200m sprints and feel the wind and the adrenaline rush, but I cant, cause I will have bulky legs, and I am trying to reduce it! But really want to run with my shoes. It really give me the power to sprint.

Anyway, my fav sport now is swimming now. I love swimming. I cant believe it. I finally master the right way to swim breast stroke. in the past, I cant swim correctly. Finally my sister taught me the correct way. Damn! All those instructors suck. They cant even recognise what is the problem with my breast stroke. Dumb dumb!

And I love broccoli and button mushrooms. I still love salmon. Yum! And…I love coldplay and snow patrol. I cant listen to their songs forever. Sigh…

Hmm..I am now working in the Finance dept of a company and it just makes me understand what is "rank", "power" and "money". The company actually pay all the expenses of those high-post people in the company, even in things like pedicure and medicure. I am surprised that they actually pay them for that. Afterall, their salary is damn quite, at least 5 figures kind, yet, such things, the company pay for them? It is really weird. While the lower post people in the company slough their life out, yet they do not enjoy such rights. Even their accommodation is so expensive. My God man..

I realised something after working in various companies in Singapore, that as long as you are an expatriate( correct spelling?), u will usually hold all the high-rank position in the company. And, the company would be happy enough to pay for all your expenses, even with your children school fees. I am not complaining cause’ this is what my bf is experiencing. His school fees are paid by his dad’s company. Yeah. And, something is really important to note here, degrees are IMPORTANT. Very. Graduating with honours, masters…will gurantee u high post even if u have no work experience in such areas. Thus, whoever says work experiences are more essential than academics is bull-shitting. I see it with my own eyes. However, the bad news is that eventually many people will graduate with a degree. So, the aim is to study higher.

After working in accounts and finance dept, I don’t know about my career prospects still. I like numbers. But, dealing with such high amount of money is scary. And, I don’t think it is possible to develop well in these areas. Of course, unless with the cert lah..but I kinda of like finance and accounts, though I just realised that they are actually different. Finance must be good in presentations and understanding I guess. I heard my boss quarrel with a lawyer in the office over the presentation skills. It is complex to me cause’ in order to understand, it is crucial to know at your finger-tips the runnings of the company.

At least, work experience has taught me how to use the different software in accounting and finance.

So people, study hard as you can now…yeah! Jiayou!!!!

This song is by Linkin Park and it rocks to the core. It is probably the best song Linkin Park has done, followed closely by "The End". I think the style has differ.Yup. Btw, this is the song for "Transformers". And as you know, I am crazy over "Transformers". It is the best show that I have watched! Yeah! Of course, "Monsters inc" is also my fav. haha…