Guten Tag! :)

This is killing me. I dunnoe how to do a proper make-up. ARGH..keep practising XJ. Yeah~ Hehe~

These few daes are once again the weird-o-me again. I was in screaming sessions with my mom. I dun usually do tat at all, but nowadaes, I do that quite often. I noe it is wrong but she is realli grating on my nerves! ARGH~

Right, I cant sleep well nowadaes. Thinking abt my bloodly finals. This is the first time in my life I realli do not wan to noe my results at all. I am scared of failure cause’ in my life, failure is not as poor as now. Now, I fail veri easily. My morale level is soaring far down. I just cant convinced myself that I am intelligent at all. I watched my brothers learn to play pool that day at the chalet, they were really great. Learn much much faster than me. I was impressed yet, depressed cause’ as a sister who is much older than them, I cant even display a simple application of physics in pool. I noe Feli and June were cheering for me, but deep down, I was really upset I guess.

Since young, I always have learning disabilities. I learn many tings slower than others. But, I can get here so far is because I never once give up and work extra harder than others. But, Uni is really different. It is fast-paced and not really a school for slow learners like me I guess. Haiz.

Tell u guys, when I was in kindergarden alreadi, my teacher told me that I am stupid. In primary 4, my chinese teacher said I was stupid. In sec 3, Yang lao shi forced me to drop higher chinese and she was damn worried that I couldnt even make it for the express chinese in sec.3. Luckily, I make it for all. Got an A1.

Therefore, I noe this. When I am serving my bond for MOE, I would tell my students my history and encourage them to never give up in life. I would tell them that I am not smart either and I was labelled stupid before in my life. Yeah~ Optimistic I guess.

I trying to understand the meaning of logics and to maybe increase my comprehension and understanding skills, to help myself out of this bloodly darkness that I am in. What I can sae is that, the tunnel that I was initally in, I am still in it. I need to find a way out to see light.

Thanks guys for encouraging me. I am realli touched. XJ, dun give up, even in storms or darkness, no matter how gloomy the sky is, one dae, the dae the sky clears and the sun shines, it will arrive?

Haiz..I tink my mom is still emotionally unstable. I am lost. She is emotionally unstable about the death. I was trying to get over it but with her around, it is almost impossible.

2006 sucks. And, I have nth to sae about this bloodly year. Except that I have matured quite a bit after this year.

Sometimes in life, you feel lost that you cant do anyting to fulfill ur dream and sometimes, u dun even noe ur dream.

What do I really want to be in life?