Guten Tag! :)

Oh my god.I didnt noe so mani pple were reading my blog. The sweet ting is that they all comforted me and encouraged me. Thank you guys! Anyway, I tink my blog is abit boring hor..everydae complain and complain. Hmm..I wonder should I join the talentquest? I wan to sing in a real competition but I am afraid that I would throw my face like last time. But that time was because I was realli veri nervous. Tok about stage as my life..grrr..

Anyway, to LC, if she is reading my blog, jiayou kk? I cant add a comment in your blog so I add in my blog. I tink u are a veri smart girl, so dun wry man..:)

My relationship is realli on rocks now. Looks like both of us may be straining apart. He wans me to spend time with him during the weekend, but I had been real busy. I dun even have time for myself. He would get upset when I dun go out with him. I kept asking him to understand my schedule then he would reply me that his frends in US and UK uni still have time to go out, would cant I…

My opinion of love is compromise and understanding. I guess…our 4 years near to 5 years relationship may be ending so. I dunnoe wat to sae. I am kinda sad inside so I buried myself in work and singing. Afterall, everyting I see and do remind me of him. Probably we been thru many thick and thin together. In fact, I guess, our obstacles are much tougher than everyone’s relationship.. the long distance relationship, the triangle issue, the mothers issue…What can I sae? I cannot deny that I still love him cause’ he is always there to bring my wishes to reality no matter how hard it is. But, I noe my priorities. Work is still impt. Afterall, we need to work hard for our life.

I speak my mind out and yet, he didnt reply me at all. So, I guess, this is the last core? I dunnoe.

Life is realli getting worse day after day. I have alreadi failed 2 tests out of my 5 tests. Worse of all, I studied so freaking hard for it.

Life is like an ocean with high tide and low tide, and this is my lowest point in life. I know it. Hope I will tide thru this period of time.

A guy jumped down to the mrt train rails depressed me and make me pitied him. His family is totally penniless. They survive with cup noodles everydae. His wife dun even have money for transport fee. It depressing to see there are someone in Singapore who is still in poverty state.

I think it is really crucial for the government to enforce re-training of our workforce. Moreover, it is really time for the government to understand clearly what they want to develop. In the areas of school, they should only open a specific number of places such that everyone, well mostly everyone can get a job in that sector. I tink the government has not done that at all.

Let me quote as an example. The newspaper article about life science graduates are unable to get a job after they graduate. Why? Because Singapore has only a few life science sector and why are they opening up so many places in life science in NUS? I can tell u it is about 800+.

Worst of all, many of the people I know graduate with a degree but end up either without jobs or unable to find a job related to their field at all. Then, what is the use of the knowledge you learn in university? Especially it is ridiculous that government says that tertiary training is for the workforce. What is the use of getting a masters degree but unable to use that knowledge in the workforce?

It is also really terrifying that the education system has moulded into the system of only one answer is right and always refer to answer key. Why? Cause we are trained to do that!

Back to poor man example.why has the govt unable to recognise their family and reach out to help them?! There are so many questions in my mind now.

If there is a curve of life plotted, this will definitely be my lowest point of my life where everyting is in chaos. I learnt that hard work is useless in Uni. I learn that life in uni is definitely not a piece of cake for me. I learn tat I am losing in the competition despite my long hours of training. I learnt that love is never easy to compromise and to appreciate. I am really my lowest level of my life.

They saes that hard work is the essence of a competition. They are wrong. I always used to believe that hard work pays but now, I dont believe and don’t trust what they says. I learn it in a hard way.

I am tired of complaining. I am tired of trying to bang my head on the wall to be smarter. I am tired of failing tests. I am. But it’s seems to be common in my life till I am too tired to bother about it.

I am tired to hear him complain of going out. I am tired of hearing my mom’s naggings still ringing in my ears.

All these were never present in my life. But, yet, they seem to materialise from nowhere.

If I have a dream or a hope, I know someone is out there to pierce my dreams. To mock at me. To laughed at my stupidity. But yet, I persist on.

I want to be happi. But I cant bring myself to motivate me to be happy cause’ I know that this is probably my most crucial point of life.

God..pls give me strength and hope.

Gosh..I just recalled last night that I had a very weird dream. I dreamt that aliens visited me rather. They came in a blue saucer shaped aircraft and I spotted it near my house at the market. I cant really recalled how those aliens look like. But, I remember that that time was very late at night, where everyone was sleeping. I spotted it and it came close to my house before coming into the house. I recalled asking them why they dont want to talk to the ministers about their arrival on earth. They replied that they don’t want we humans to know. Haha. So funny. They obey Fermi’s paradox solution 2: they exist but have no desire to communicate with us. Haha~ I tink I am going crazy. It’s is so vivid man. The dream is super vivid. Help! I am going mad I think.

Nowadaes, my blog is just full of me being stress and demoralised. Today was considered one of my worst. The situation is such that I studied so damn hard for the test, yet, I got 0. In other words, what I had studied are just useless for the test. My intelligence level is low that it doesnt understand the question. It doesnt help that the JC students from RJC knows how to do, yet I do not know how to do. It is that kind of depressing feeling. Worse, I am tired and my mom is always asking me for my results. Come on, I am in uni.

I really dislike uni life. I dunnoe their styles. I guess, this semester, I can only get a cap of 2.5 +. I can sae goodbye to honours.

Now I understand the feeling of depression. I am under one I think.

In my opinion, my life is screwed up, stressing and it doesnt help with bloodly China lecturers.

I am confused.

Phew..I manage the 3 tests this week. Confirm screwed up in biochem cause’ I tink I didnt have enuff sleep the day before. Wey..wat u expect? The day before, I had a maths test till9p.m. By the time I came home, it about 11 plus. Study wat shit. So of course screwed up. Well done. But for search for life and calculus, it was pretty alright. The problem with Uni is that they are different from JC. JC focus more on concepts and understanding while here in Uni in Singappore, NUS mind you, focus on memorising work. It’s pretty sad. So, now my strategy is to memorise every single detail. No wonder, singapore fails to produce big names in science, cause’ this kind of shit education, how do you even get anything out of it? :s I am sorry for that but I think NUS shouldn’t even be in top 19. It’s saddening that Singapore education system is failing. Singapore is able to produce students that are brillant in studying what we know, but never able to think.

I am starting to love astrobiology alot. It gets me excited. I think I am going to venture into astrobiology as my interest. Haha~

Anyway, I have another test next week again. Groan..I hate life in Uni.